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12 of the Funniest Stories in History

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  • After WWI, the Australian military started “The Great Emu War” where they tried to cull emus with machine guns. Six days after the first engagement, 2,500 rounds of ammunition had been fired and no emu was killed. It was declared an emu victory in the end.

  • In the entire state of Ohio in 1895, there were only two cars on the road, and the drivers of these two cars crashed into each other.

  • In the late 1700’s, a letter appeared in the major London newspaper complaining that England was being forced to take deported French prisoners. The British were furious and wanted it stopped. The French became upset because the uproar implied that England was too good for French prisoners. Both governments became involved, and they were on the brink of war before it all unraveled as a hoax. The original letter, it was learned years later, had been written by Benjamin Franklin, who was spending six months in England as an ambassador and was simply bored, just stirring up trouble and sitting back and watching.

  • The first “Mooning” in recorded history was 66 AD, where a Roman solider mooned Jewish pilgrims on their way to Jerusalem. This caused a riot, an over-response by the Roman military, and the death of thousands.

  • In 1821, Greece was under the control by the Turks. In Greece’s fight for independence, a Turkish garrison was besieged by Greek fighters on the Acropolis. When the Turks were running short on bullets, they began to dismantle the marble columns to use the lead within as bullets. The Greeks sent them ammunition with the message: “Here are bullets, don’t touch the columns.”

  • Early in the Spanish Civil War, there was a Nationalist garrison under siege. Having local air superiority, Nationalists decided to airdrop supplies. The humor comes from their chosen method of making sure the packages got to the ground without being damaged. They didn’t use a parachute, but instead they strapped a turkey to each package. It couldn’t carry the load, but it could slow it a bit on the way down and unlike a parachute, you can eat a turkey.

  • During Liechtenstein’s last military engagement in 1886, none of the 80 soldiers sent were injured, and 81 returned, including a new Italian ‘friend’.

  • During the French Revolution when members of the Third Estate stormed the Bastille, they freed a grand total of 7 prisoners (they were the only ones in there at the time) and one of them was a drunk, lunatic Irish guy named Whyte de Malleville who had no idea what was going on.

  • During the opium war, the Chinese set monkeys on fire and launched them at British ships in an attempt to cause chaos.

  • Between the announcement of Germany’s surrender during WW2 on radio to Joseph Stalin addressing of the nation 22 hours later, Russia literally ran out of vodka.

  • The direct cause of World War 1 was Archduke Ferdinand of Austria’s assassination. What many people don’t know is that the initial assassination attempt failed when the bomb blew up the car behind Ferdinand’s. The only reason he was assassinated is that one of the terrorists (a Serbian organization called the Black Hand) stopped to buy a sandwich and saw Ferdinand in the store.

  • Also, the man who threw the grenade that blew up the car behind Franz Ferdinand did not know the grenade had a 10-second timer. It gets better. He took the cyanide supplied by the Black Hand to kill himself after the attempt, and it was expired, so he just ended up throwing up a bunch. To “seal the deal” of death, he jumped into a nearby canal that was only two inches deep. It didn’t turn out so great for him.

(source: kickassfacts.com)

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Humor: Top 10 Facebook Jokes

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Facebook isn’t only a long range interpersonal communication site any longer. It has turned into a social wonder. In any critical ways, our lives are reliant on or fragmented without Facebook. Envision being not able to offer your birthday photos with your companions over the world. Or on the other hand not having the capacity to know the most recent that is occurring in the local area.

The virtual universe of Facebook with notices, photographs, posts and jabs has more genuine to us than our whole lives That is the reason, similar to some other consuming social wonder; there are a few jokes on Facebook also. We have assembled a gathering of the most ingenious jokes about Facebook here.

Facebook Joke 1:

Facebook is like a jail. You have mugshot profile picture.

You spend all your time writing on walls. And some totally undesirable people poke you around unnecessarily.

Facebook Joke 2:

A grandmother left her farm, barn, horses, chickens, pigs and $1million cash to her granddaughter. The granddaughter was overwhelmed and said “Granny, I never knew you had so many assets.

Where are they?” The grandmother’s last word on her death-bed was ‘Facebook’.

Facebook Joke 3:

Teacher asks student, “What do you call a place where people talk to themselves, write on walls, cook imaginary food in fictional cafes, grow crops that do not exist and count make-believe money?”

Student answers, ‘Mental hospital.’

Teacher growls, ‘ No you idiot. Facebook.’

Facebook Joke 4:

If Facebook is a fridge then we keep opening it every few seconds to see if there is anything interesting in it!

Facebook Joke 5:

When do you officially become a Facebook stalker?

When you notice that someone’s Facebook profile picture changes and you are not even their friend!

Facebook Joke 6:

What is the new face of communalism?

Facebook groups! People are so freaking aggressive about it!

Facebook Joke 7:

Why do Facebook users have lower grades than non-Facebook users?

Mushroom Coffee: All You Need To Know About This New Fad Weekly Predictions For Each Zodiac Sign: 8th-14th April, 2018 Does Milk Help You To Improve Your Skin Tone? Featured Posts

This is because you do not need to use your brains to be on Facebook.

Facebook Joke 8:

The Facebook status of a girl committing suicide; ‘My Twitter account can remarry now…’

Facebook Joke 9:

What does a man tell God after he just dies?

Please let me go back. I forgot to tell my to wife to change her relationship status!

Facebook Joke 10:

Where will you find a man with too many debts? On Facebook trying to earn some cash in Mafia Wars!

Source: BoldSky

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Humor: Top 5 Funny Jokes Ever

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If you love humor, this is the one for you. Here’s a collection of top 5 funniest jokes of all time!

Teacher: “Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up!”
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: “Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!”
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: “Ohh, Johnny you think you’re stupid?”
Little Johnny: “No… i just feel bad that you’re standing alone…”

 —
Dad: Say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Come on, say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: F*ck you, say daddy!
Baby: F*ck you, Mommy!
Mom: Honey, I’m home!
Baby: F*ck you!
Mom: Who taught you that?
Baby: Daddy!
Dad: Son of a b*tch.
I believe i can flyyy
got shot by the pizza guyyy
all i wanted was some onion ringggss
from McDonald’s or Burgerkinggg
I believe i can soarrrr
mom slapped me in the grocery storeee
Even though im 24 I still got an imaginary dinosoarrrrr
I believe i can falllll I tripped on a bouncey ballll
Thought id post this funny jokes. Even though i got no votes. 
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No…
Girl: I am the principal’s daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No…
Boy: Good! *walks away*
I was in in the public restroom
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
“Hi, how are you?”
Me: (embarrassed) “Doin’ fine!”
Stall: “So what are you up to?”
Me: “Uhhh, I’m like you, just sitting here.”
Stall: “Can I come over?”
Me: (attitude) “No, I’m a little busy right now!!”
Stall: “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions! 
For more such humorous tales and jokes, subscribe to The Humor Column today!

Disclaimer: All images are sourced from the web. No copyright infringement intended.

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Top 5 Hilarious Jokes on Batman

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For what reason do we like making Batman jokes? Is it because – regardless of the character being something made for kids – there’s unavoidable obscurity that exemplifies the style, as well as figured out how to spread out through whatever is left of the ordinance?

To such an extent that even the animated arrangement feels darker than consistent youngsters’ modifying? Or on the other hand is it because the idea of a developed man and his more youthful companion circling in tights offers to us in an adolescent and guileless way? Or then again perhaps it’s simply straightforward to make bat-based plays on words. Whatever the reason, we’ve assembled a rundown of our most loved jokes and plays on words in light of our most loved caped crusader. What’s more, indeed, these are the Batman jokes that you merit, and need.

What Happens When Batman Sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises

What Do You Call It When Batman Skips Church?
Christian Bale

When Is Joker Not Plotting A Murder?
When he’s riding his Harley!

What’s The Difference Between Batman & A Robber
Batman can go into a store without Robin!

Batman & Robin Go Camping In The Desert:After setting up their tent and falling asleep,  Batman wakes his faithful friend. “Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Robin replies, “ I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?” asks Batman.
Robin ponders for a minute.
“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Batman?”
Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks:
“Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.”

Did this crack you up well? For more such rib ticklers, subscribe to The Humor Column today!

Source: The Ranker

 

 

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